


Red Nose Day.

by kotabear24



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Children, Children in Africa, Diarrhea, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ghana, M/M, Malaria, Poverty, Red Nose Day, charity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-29 20:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/691254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotabear24/pseuds/kotabear24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the boys' trip to hospitals in Ghana. <br/>Or,<br/>The one where Louis and Harry have a really hard time dealing with the sick babies in Africa.</p><p>Donate to save lives at www.rednoseday.com/donate</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Nose Day.

**Author's Note:**

> This can get really intense and will probably be emotional for you. Trigger warnings like sickness, poverty, sick babies, that kind of thing. Please be careful and mind your emotions. 
> 
> Conditions in Ghana are horrible. They're not the only sick children in the world, I'm aware of that, but you can donate to save lives at www.rednoseday.com/donate   
> A few dollars can save a child's life. Please donate and help the cause.

Louis buried his face into Harry’s shirt, sniffing and doing his best to swallow lump after lump in his throat as he talked about it. 

“It was – Harry, they’re – they’re so sick,” he said roughly, shaking his head against Harry’s chest. Harry’s arms tightened around Louis. “There was – one, you could see the bones in her arms and legs and – she coughed and you could – you could _hear_ it, she just – her eyes were so big, Harry.” _So big and round, like yours, and that made it even worse_ , Louis thought as he swallowed, his breath hitching again. He let out a dry sob against Harry’s shirt. “I don’t – it’s just so cheap and it could have made them healthy babies.”

Harry rested his head on top of Louis’, closing his eyes against the pinpricks of tears he felt threatening to spill. He and Liam hadn’t gone to the nursery today, opting instead to go and speak to a few teachers, learning about the things they taught the children there and seeing the state of the school. Louis, Niall, and Zayn had gone to the nursery and come back in pieces. 

When Harry and Liam had walked into the room the band was staying in, they were shocked at the state of the other half of their group. Zayn had been openly crying, sitting on a chair with his head between his knees as Niall sat beside him, rubbing his back and wiping his eyes furiously. Louis’ eyes were empty and he was biting his lip, and when Harry touched his shoulder hesitantly, he had folded in on himself, allowing Harry to catch him and hold him tightly. 

Across the room, Harry heard Zayn crying as his voice got louder and louder and Niall sniffing and breathing heavily over Liam’s soothing coos and reassurances. Louis coughed and sniffed again. 

“Lou, people will see this and they’ll donate,” Harry said certainly. “They’ll donate. We just have to keep at it; you know our fans will donate to these kids.”

But Louis only shook his head. “We only went to _one_ nursery, Harry,” he said. “One. And it was so crowded and there’s a whole _building_ of nurseries. And this is only one little place in the whole country. Harry, there are – there are so many people – _babies_ – who need help; we can’t possibly save them all.” 

Harry swallowed tightly. Louis was so obviously devastated at the thought of even one child suffering for a second longer. 

“I spoke to one woman there,” Louis said, leaning back and rubbing his eyes. His voice had gone hollow, and his face looked drained. “She was the baby’s grandmother. I asked where the baby's mum was, and she looked straight at me. Said she’s _dying_. Didn’t even – you know how, when someone’s dying, even if you’re expecting it, you’re still – still shocked?” Harry nodded, swallowing tightly, and Louis shook his head and buried his face in his hands, allowing Harry to pull him close again. “She didn’t even – she wasn’t even shocked. It happens all the time here,” he said brokenly. “All the time.”

Harry didn’t know what to say – what _could_ he say? – so he just shook his head in misery, rubbing Louis’ back. “That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” Louis admitted. “To – to look at those babies, sick and – and weak. It was so hard.”

 

Harry entered the room with a feeling of dread, swallowing a wave of nausea as the stench of disease and sickness hit him. He’d never had a strong stomach.

The smell disappeared when he heard the sounds, though. Babies crying. Women crying. Coughing, gagging, retching, wheezing. Women reciting prayers to their deities, praying for health and miracles for the babies. Harry’s eyes widened as he took in the sight of the room.

Cribs made of wood that looked like it was rotting in some places, soiled bedsheets. A woman lay, either asleep or passed out, stretched across the small mattress with her arms folded protectively around a small child in an even worse state. Two women were in rocking chairs, holding bundles and singing and praying as they eyed Harry and Liam up and down. 

Harry tried to rearrange his face from the horror he felt and probably reflected and gave a weak smile as he nodded to one woman, holding a yellow and orange and brown bundle. He walked over to her and stretched a hand out, touching her forearm in greeting. “Hello,” he said quietly, eyes trained on her worn and weathered face.

“Hello,” the woman said slowly.

“Who’s this?” Harry asked, bracing himself as he looked into the depths of the blanket. His stomach churned when he saw the child, and he had to close his eyes as a wave of dizziness threatened to have him unconscious. 

In the blanket was a child whose head looked much too big for its body. Its limbs were thin and Harry could clearly see every bone and joint and the small bit of muscle. The child had a shirt and a cloth tied around its groin, but its feet were bony. The child lay completely limp in the woman’s arms, and his eyes, trained on Harry, were filled with agony. 

“This is Saidi,” the woman said to Harry. “He is three.”

Harry reached a hand out to the crib next to him, knuckles white as he fought to stay upright. Saidi, a three –year-old boy who had the size of a six-month-old. Harry was sure if he lifted Saidi’s shirt, he’d be able to see and count his ribs. 

“Would you like to hold him?” The woman asked, already standing from the rocking chair. 

Harry nodded and slowly, shaking, made his way into a sitting position in the chair. The woman bent over, her dress dropping, and passed Saidi over to him. Harry’s eyes blurred when he felt how light Saidi was, even though he was clearly dead-weight. 

Harry blinked furiously and looked up to the woman, who was now tending to the child in the crib next to them. “Excuse me,” he said, throat dry. The woman turned back to him and he asked, “What’s wrong with him?” 

The woman turned to another woman, speaking to her in a foreign language rapidly, before turning back to the baby she had been caring for. The second woman approached Harry and slowly explained in a stilted tongue, “Saidi has malaria and is under-nourished, and is too weak to move. He can not stand, sit, or walk on his own. He can not even lift his head without help. He has diarrhea and does not keep his food in, so he is weak and starving.”

Tears in his eyes, Harry looked over at Liam, who was crouched down in front of a child whose arms were as thin as his pinky finger, her hand folded around Liam’s index finger as he talked to her. 

Harry looked down to Saidi, who stared steadily at him, eyes reflecting the fire of pain he doubtless felt. _Diarrhea so severe it’s caused her to be malnourished to the point of no muscle mass_. Harry sniffed and lifted a shoulder to wipe a tear from his face. He wondered how it felt, having your own body betraying you that way – that you couldn’t even keep food that would keep you alive long enough to properly digest it. All because of a bug.

Harry let out a sob as he curled over Saidi, removing his hand from the boy’s back to wipe dirt off the little boy’s face. One of Harry’s team approached him and crouched down, whispering to him to ask if he was alright. Harry shook his head, staring down at Saidi, and the woman motioned to his grandmother, saying something to her; Harry wasn’t listening. 

Saidi’s grandmother took him from Harry, murmuring calming things – at Saidi or Harry; Harry wasn’t sure – and the woman from Harry’s team kindly grabbed his arm and thanked the women in the nursery before leading Harry back to their room.

 

Harry screamed wordlessly and punched the wall, the resulting throb of his fingers barely even catching his train of thought. Instead, he cried out again and kicked the wall, and then kicked it again, crumpling to the floor as the fight left him along with the feeling in his foot. 

He pushed at the floor, scooting backwards until his back hit the wall, where he sat and drew up his legs, resting his head on his knees and covering his head with his arms as tears fought to be released and started winning. 

“ _Harry_!”

Harry heard his name called sharply from across the room and rocked his head to the side just enough to be able to see. He saw Louis rushing towards him, seamlessly sinking to the floor to get his arms around Harry. Harry leaned easily into Louis’ embrace, all resistance to his tears melting instantly. Louis held him tight as Harry cried, Saidi’s face burned into the back of his eyelids. 

“Hey, babe, it’s alright, it’s okay, you’re alright, shhh, you’re okay,” Louis said soothingly, patting in a circular motion against Harry’s back. Harry took deep shuddering breaths and let out a whimper as Louis’ words registered. 

Harry leaned back, pushing at Louis’ chest as he said, “I _know_ I’m alright! But those – those _babies_ , they’re – Lou, they’re – they’re _dying_. Saidi’s going to _die_.” Saying it out loud somehow made it even more real, and his hands balled into fists and beat against Louis’ chest even as Louis pulled at the back of Harry’s neck, trying to convince him to be held. “It’s not _fair_!” Harry said, the pitched marred by an interrupting sob. “It’s not _fair_ , Lou, he’s – he’s going to _die_ , and it’s…” Harry collapsed and let out a few more sobs into the dirtied shoulder of Louis’ t-shirt. “It’s not fair,” he mumbled, sounding defeated.

Louis nodded and kept patting at Harry’s back until Harry squirmed with the oversensitivity, and then switched easily into rubbing softly. “I know,” he said quietly. “I know, baby.”

Harry took a shuddering breath and after a while, his shame and self-disgust ate at him enough that he needed to be rid of it, even for a moment. “Lou, they – they looked…they looked scary,” he admitted in a small voice, pushing his face deeper into Louis’ shirt and muscles underneath so he didn’t have to see the repulsion in Louis’ eyes by his horrible words. Despite the thoughts, Harry’s mouth kept moving. “They were all…like…they looked mutated, Lou. We – I held a boy - Saidi - and he looked so –” Harry drew in another ragged breath and pulled tightly at Louis’ shirt as a few tears escaped again. “He looked…he looked gross, Lou.” A small sob left his mouth at the admission, knowing easily how cruel and horrible he sounded. “I’m such a horrible person for that,” he said weakly. 

“Harry, you’re not,” Louis said, his fingers stilling against Harry’s back. “You’re a perfect, wonderful, compassionate person. You’re not awful for thinking…that.”

Not convinced and still feeling miserable, Harry asked quietly, “Did you? Think that, I mean?”

Louis resumed rubbing Harry’s back slowly and he answered, “I – I didn’t think they were scary,” he said, “but…but I did – for a second, I mean – I thought that some…some of them looked a little…deformed, kind of,” he admitted quietly. Harry let his tears fall silently and nodded, and Louis said, “That doesn’t mean we’re bad people, babe. We – we’re not used to things like that, and they are incredibly sick. You’re not awful for thinking it, I swear.”

Harry nodded against Louis neck, pressing closer. “I just…that little boy, Lou. He – he was three, and I held him and thought…I thought he was maybe six months. He was so little. And malaria and diarrhea made him so weak. He can’t digest food and he doesn’t make enough to live from. His muscles are almost all deteriorated and gone…he couldn’t even hold himself up. It was like he was paralyzed. He – _Lou_ ,” Harry whined, his voice breaking, moving back far enough to wipe at his eyes. 

Louis pulled Harry close and murmured quietly, “They – Harry, we can’t save everyone, baby. We can’t. We can hope and try _real hard_ , but we’ll never be able to save the world. You know that. They told us to remember that, coming into this. Remember?”

Harry nodded and shifted until he was nearly cradled sideways by Louis, both sitting on the floor. “Can – can we go back there?” he asked in a small voice. “We don’t have anything else today, do we? Can we go back? I – I think I want to see Saidi again.”

Louis sighed and checked with one of their team, who said they were free to do as they wanted. Harry looked up at him with hopeful eyes, and he nodded, biting his lip. “We can go see him,” Louis said, shifting to let go of Harry and stand. 

Harry stood and together, they made the walk back to the nursery. When they stood outside the door, Harry and Louis both paused to look at each other, bracing themselves individually for what they knew they’d see. 

“Will you – can you hold my hand?” Harry asked nervously, eyes flitting back and forth from Louis to the nursery door. “Only, I want – I want to hold Saidi again, and talk to him…but I don’t think I can do it alone.”

Louis smiled peacefully and slid his fingers in behind Harry’s. He squeezed Harry’s hand gently and murmured, “You never have to do anything alone, babe. I’m here with you, by your side, forever. Alright?” Harry nodded, and Louis leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I love you, babe.”

Harry let the words wash over him and calm his nerves a bit, and he smiled. “I love you, too,” he said, squeezing Louis’ hand back. They took a deep breath and walked into the nursery, prepared and together.


End file.
